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[SIZE 3][COLOR deeppink] I still seek, but any interested in me will need to accept that I require time; phone and chat are good, but real time meets, more than one, to be certain of myself as well as him. One day, I hope to beg a collar and be accepted, and have a collar placed upon my neck that will never again be opened, a collar that will go to a grave. Such a relationship isn't likely to happen overnight, and I'll not hurt someone by jumping for the brass ring the first time around; I'll need to listen to the music, be certain the timing and rhythm are a matched fit.
For those of you wishing to know me better:
Many would consider it ironic that I identify myself as a submissive. m frequently mistaken for a switch or a Domme. In life, in business, I have an off-the-chart dominating personality...I've always been in charge, the one to save the day, etc. I have a tendency to run over people without even meaning to.
I am I assure you, a natural submissive. I long for the man to master me, the Dom/HOH/Master too whom I will devote my life long service. The Alpha wolf to cover my alpha bitch;he Lord of the realm I long to live in often seems a far and away dream.
Yes, I can be a bitch, although maturity and training are helping me to curb my instinct to not only but verbally eviscerate men who attempt to dominate me if I sense they are weaker. I am learning patience, tolerance, and decorum, although I do slip, I still take an aberrant joy in being a high riding bitch during these occasions. Conversely, I am at times the stereotypical bubbly blonde: exuberant, fun-loving and silly.
I embrace life fully, as a gift to be treasured...I LIVE. When I was 28, I suffered a serious injury. The result is a condition known as Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia--Post Traumatic Failed ATN--to be exact. There is no cure, currently no viable treatment. I am in pain 24/7, and I'm allergic to most pain killers. I'm blessed with an abnormally high pain threshold which has helped me adapt to living with failed ATN.
My life is irrecoverably different, but it is far from over. Some of the sidts of this condition are permanent: I'm neither as arrogant, nor self-absorbed as I used to be. I'll never again be as physically active; it is no longer safe to go diving, or mountain climbing. I'll never again do the kind of work I did at Ground Zero on 9/11 and the days that followed.
Other side effects are reversible and I work hard to change them. For I refuse to allow this condition to rule my life, to end my love of life. If anything, I love it more. In the words of Thoreau, I suck the marrow out of life. (To be honest, m learning to suck the marrow out of life)
I am, have always been, a strong, aggressive, dominant woman, but privately, I yearn for the could submit to.
I could go on forever about my many likes and dislikes, what my vanilla life is filled with, but how much longer can I reasonably expect to hold your interest? I'm very eclectic in all my tastes, being well read is important to me. As well as informed of the world around us daily...hi't help and I believe in being part of the solution or being part of the problem. I do have a special fervor for medieval Celtic history and lore.
Sexually, I'm a bottom. I have an aggressively strong sex drive, and I'm very adventurous. My Master would be my top have no desire to bottom for others. He will be more than my match with regards to sex drive, and He will lovingly guide me, teach me, explore with me and help me grow. He will firmly, but patiently push and expand my boundaries and limits. My stone cold, diamond hard limits are: animals, branding, , scat.
My Master will dominate me completely in our private live and D/s situations; He will also have me well Taken in Hand at all times in all aspects of life. He will understand the crucial value in training me, gentling me to His hand without ever breaking my spirit. When necessary He will correct me and if required punish me. He will derive no pleasure in punishing me, it will be a necessaand grow. He will do so with expediency...not making me endure time away from him in sorrow knowing of His displeasure and growing ever more distressed at knowing I've failed Him. He will realize I torture myself in these moments far more than His punishments, and that extending this time any longer then necessary would be cruel. He'll explain what I did wrong, punish me swiftly even if extreme in harshness, then He will reassure me immediately that I've paid, all is forgiven, and He will hold and comfort me, swiftly working to re-bond with me. In turn, I will accept these punishments with grace, thanking Him for caring enough for me to perform the distasteful task.
I am not a robot nor doormat nor a degraded, speaks-in-third-person-thrall. I'm a strong intelligent woman. I'm well read, formally educated, and I've lived a great deal in 35 years. I will only submit to a man who not only respects thve a place for me both at his side as well as at his feet. He can depend upon me to act appropriately in any situation. I can be: the Lady, sipping the perfect glass of wine or popular cocktail when socializing with his boss and coworkers, the Housewife keeping His house, serving Him from the moment He walks thru the door until He walks out again making Him comfortable in every way, the grown up Girl-Next-Door happy in jeans and jersey watching the game with neighbors and friends, the Wild Slut in the bedroom. Eager to give Him as much pleasure as He can stand, while reveling in the pleasure and pain He gives me, and the Sweet Ing nue, sitting in His lap, with His strong arms holding me against His broad chest and shoulders, His masculine hands playing with my hair. I will happily sit at His feet while He works, rest my head upon His thigh while He soothes me when pain. I need and will relish the firm and loving way He will tucks me into bed when I seek sleep before He does.
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My Ideal Person:
I seek the man I can submit to in Fullness and Joy. The one to forever claim me: heart, mind, body and soul. He will be the answer to the prayers I send to the stars on the cold lonely nights that sometimes seem to last forever.
He will be well read, even if not well educated. He will be able to converse with me on many subjects, and will relish my ability to share deep discussions with him. He will be fun loving, enjoying a multitude of activities, many simple things such as miniature golf or a day at a mountain lake. He'll also enjoy fine theater performances, dining and dancing. Spending quite times cozened by a fire with either a mug of hot chocolate, mulled cider, or a glass of fine wine.
He is a man of honor and respect as well as intelligence.
He is the One who seeks the multifaceted woman I've described above. He will own me completely, cherish me as his most prized possession. He will take joy in my devotion and love. He will welcome me as both his sub and his lifemate.
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